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Archive for the ‘Bride Behavior’ Category

It seems certain brides truly believe that their opinion is GOSPEL .

Especially when it comes to sharing their personal interactions with a specific vendor.

Like – who to avoid, who’s way overpriced, who you can bully, who doesn’t walk their talk, who’s a diva.

You get the idea.

These free-flowing testimonials seem to be most apparent on certain message boards – where brides can remain anonymous, interact, share experiences, and spread the slag.

Of course, we all know their messages are based solely on personal opinion, and truly have no bearing on our business ideals or practices.

Yet, it’s difficult to ignore, especially when you know it’s going on.

One day you’re viewed as the Miracle Worker, an Angel among {wo}men, up for Sainthood.

And the next?  Well, you didn’t kiss someone’s ass enough, you didn’t provide enough of a discount, or you didn’t provide the same exact perks. This free press is really a double-edged sword.

So, what’s a Wedding Vendor Extraordinaire to do?

Seriously, how dare some nameless bride-to-be on a vengeance try to take your reputation down with her?

Your gut reaction may be to create a fake online profile. It’s anonymous, right?

You could become part of the gang, ask brainless questions, comment on other’s catastrophes in the making, and slyly throw in a few little bites of PR magic {focused on your business, of course}.

Revenge is sweet, no?

In all seriousness, this would never work. Who has the time, energy, or interest?

Don’t sink to their level.

Keep Your Message Consistent.

Watch what you promote on your site, in your marketing materials, on your twitter account, etc.

Sometimes the smallest thing can slip through the cracks, even on the most careful watch. 

Offering custom pricing or ranges seems to work best {for most vendors}.

Your costs, expenses, niche, and staffing needs could change very, very quickly depending on the client, event size, and season.

You need to be flexible enough to meet the changes your growing company will inevitably go through.

And you can rest easy, knowing that you are providing a service based on your own integrity, not just public opinion.

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This category of Smarty Pants Bride is starting to get really, really old.

Seriously, if you’ve already:

  1. Researched EVERY possible vendor, and received quotes…
  2. Created an air-tight timeline of your ceremony and reception…
  3. Mastered all the tricks of the trade…

Why are you even chatting with us? Clearly, you’ve got it all under control.

And we all know – EVERYTHING runs like clockwork at a wedding.

There’s never any timeline errors, snafus or bridal party melt-downs.

Just remember this…

We live in a REALITY BASED world, not the puffy cloud formation that you’ve created that cushions all of your Wedding Day plans.

Get Real.

If you want a professional, then TREAT us as such.

If you want to hire a step ‘n’ fetch – ask the catering or venue staff.

Our role is that little piece that Holds It All Together.

You know, the one that makes everything happen smoothly?

Bringing your vision to life doesn’t happen at the snap of your fingers.

Unless of course, you really do have a Fairy Godmother.

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Do you often daydream about having an Open Letter to the Bride posted in your storefront window?

A form letter of sorts, to share expectations, protocol, tips and advice.

Here’s one such letter, written for Bridal Salon Owners everywhere.

Dear Bride to Be, 

We’re so excited to meet you!

This is such an amazing time in your life, and we understand all the worries, concerns, and insecurities that come with shopping for the dress.

Be ready to gush, cry, oooh and aaah over all the fabric choices, veils + accessories.

We do have one initial request of you + your bridal party.

Ditch the bad attitudes at the door.

Come with a smile on your face.

OK, two initial requests really.

This is not a Cinderella and Stepsister scenario. We’re not your maid, or cocktail waitress.

This is our livelihood, so please respect our staff, and the array of dresses to choose from.

We realize that you’re stressed, under the gun time-wise, may have some pressure in terms of price, and have other things to get ready for your big day.

Remember too, not every bride finds ‘ THE DRESS ’ on their first day of shopping.

So relax, enjoy the choices, and above all….. be kind.

Feel free to bring your closest friends, mom + confidantes.

But be advised, friends that will say YES to all of your whims, or those that are hypercritical, are not a wise choice. You need support, gently mixed with a shot of reality.

We have many other clients that will visit our bridal shop this season, and we treat each and every guest with the same level of respect, attention to detail and compassion.

We can only control our own attitudes, our inventory, and our staff.

Here’s a short list of items that we can’t control:

  • Your weight. We understand that you want to look perfect on your day, but we can’t get a size 20 into a sample dress. It’s just not going to happen.
  • Your appearance.  Want to have fun, and feel pretty?  Then put your best foot forward. Dress up, do your hair + make-up. Bring shoes if you have them, or something with a similar heel height.
  • Bad undies. Wear some great fitting undergarments. The closer you can get to the real fit, the happier and more confident you’ll feel.
  • Dress type fixation. Try not to dwell on a specific dress or designer before you start trying any on. You’ll be amazed, and extremely surprised to see what actually looks good on your body type.
  • Friends with ulterior motives. Bring those that are TRULY excited, and want the appointment to be all about you. Not someone who’s searching for their own dress, for the ‘ What If ’ wedding.

 

Above all, don’t forget your manners and self-respect on the day of the appointment.

We look forward to helping you find the dress of your dreams.

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Well, since you brought it up.

Yes. Yes, you are.

Those tantrums, unrealistic expectations, vent sessions seemed to be aimed at us – directly .

But what’s so interesting, is it’s no longer just a role exclusive to the Bride.

Some of the recent incarnations may be a bit surprising….

  • The Father of the Bride
  • The Mother-in-Law {who doesn’t understand boundaries, at all}
  • The Sister {who’s already married, and clearly knows how a wedding should go}
  • The BFF
  • And the personal favorite, The Onsite Venue Helper. She appears somewhat hung over, clearly disgruntled, and wants to make sure that her employer knows she’s miffed.  How will she get this message across?  By doing the least amount of work possible over the next 8 hours. Great.

So, if you can’t beat them – join them right? All kidding aside, walking on eggshells isn’t good for workmanship, morale or productivity. Letting people vent can be healthy for them, but they need to understand that they’re experiencing situational stress.

Talking about it BEFORE the wedding day is helpful.

You don’t need to walk around with a knife in your back.

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Let’s set the scene…………

Both sets of parents are bitterly divorced, and remarried. There are step-siblings, step-cousins and step-grandparents.

Let’s face it – you feel like you’ve stepped in something, and you want to lose it, fast!

The dynamic of a family can be its greatest strength, or biggest downfall.

For your personal sanity, try to put it in perspective. You’ll be around this dysfunctional clan for a maximum of 12 hours {fingers crossed}.

Best approach?

  • Kill them with kindness  
  • Keep really busy {who says the presents don’t need to be rearranged?}
  • Smile and nod, while biting your tongue {this is a learned skill}

Most important? Don’t work a wedding solo.

You’ll need to play ‘Tag, you’re it!’ with a team member. Getting some downtime to effectively deal with the onslaught of complaints, drunk guests and tireless questions about when the cake’s going to be cut is a must.

~Special Note to the Brides~

Please don’t throw us under the bus.

If you know your Dad is gruff as hell, and isn’t a ‘people person’, we’d appreciate a heads up.

Every family experiences emotional highs + lows during a wedding celebration.

We’re used to dealing with high stress situations, and can mitigate even the touchiest situation.

So, do yourself a favor. Don’t take their ‘complaints’ or ‘concerns’ as gospel.  

We always have your best interests at heart, and aren’t interested in stirring the pot.

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Let’s face it.

Brides are put into a role that has a very definitive end date, and many just aren’t naturally detailed-oriented, or organized.

Here’s a Top 5 list of the most overlooked, and recurrent, bridal mistakes.

We, as wedding vendors, need to remedy these before the week of the wedding. Otherwise, all hell WILL break loose.

1) Venue Access:   Be sure to check & re-check when vendors can ACTUALLY be on-site. Meaning, when they can get in the doors, drop off or set-up their items. There are NO vendors that want to wait around, twiddling their thumbs.  There’s more than just your wedding happening this day.

2) Elaborate Décor + Design:  Do us all a favor, don’t incorporate overly detailed and time consuming décor, and not provide adequate assistance. Assuming your planner or coordinator will have the time + manpower to complete these tasks in less than 2 hours is a recipe for disaster.

And please, don’t say how ‘easy it’s going to be’ to set-up 6 clusters of hanging paper lanterns from a 20 foot ceiling, creating an arch out of bamboo & orchids, and hanging silk curtains from a window sill.                                     Unless you have photographic proof that you’ve done a test run – – you have no idea how long it’s really gonna take.

3) No Master of Ceremonies:  Who do you expect to keep the reception flowing? Really. This is not a position that can be overlooked. Timelines are so important to have in place, but things will always get thrown off a bit. You need someone that can go with the flow, and read a crowd.

4) Lack of Signage:  Where to go may seem obvious to you, but think like a guest for a moment. Lack of direction is a common personality trait. Someone is going to get lost in the car, or not know what door to enter. Put up some signs. More the better.

5) Timelines:  Understand the importance. Have an overly detailed, tightly wound person write it, and pass it out ONLY to those that need to be ‘in the know.’  Nobody else. You want to keep your ‘Circle of Trust’ close at hand. Allow only the chosen few to help guests move along at a natural flow.

 

What do you see Brides often overlooking?

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Taking Pictures Before the Ceremony.

Who thought this one up?  Talk about ruining the surprise.

After planning your wedding for months {maybe years}, keeping certain details under wraps {especially the dress}, you decide to get some pictures ‘out of the way’ before the ceremony?

Talk about a complete let down.

A wedding is all about that moment. You know what it is. Everyone does.

The first look down the aisle.

The gasps of the guests and the groom.

Why, why, why…..do you feel the need to ruin this beautiful moment?

If you’re in that much of a rush to fit in ‘the photos’  – it’s seriously time to rethink your wedding day plan.

Yes, a timeline is important.

But so is natural flow, being in the moment.

Remember to have fun…capture those oooooh’s & aaaaah’s.

Not everything has to be scheduled or staged.

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