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Archive for the ‘Manners’ Category

No doubt this is something you already do.

Thankful for your business acumen, thankful for your clients, thankful for your interns or staff.

But most important are those you can confide in.

The vendors that are your sounding board, that give unsolicited professional feedback, and save you in a time crunch while watching your back.

This is a crazy business.

Face it. You truly have to be a bit of a nut to pursue this.

And, you crave that kind of genuine support from those that are in the know.

They can relate to your wacky stressors, your need to let off steam, or your urge to devour a cupcake in less than 60 seconds.

There is no judgment, just the nodding of heads.

So, when you find these lovely creatures, or they find you…..Be Thankful.

There’s nothing more relaxing than to be amongst true friends.

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Could this not be the most defeating scenario of them all?

You’re duly prepared for the initial meeting, conversation flows, details are discussed, there’s a meeting of the minds. It’s like you’ve been friends forever.

And then, NADA.

Naturally, you start to question everything. 

Your growing neurosis is now in the driver’s seat.

Did I push too much? Not enough? Was my conversation professional, or just plain diarrhea of the mouth?

Did the follow-up email seem needy or desperate after the initial meeting?

Was wearing those new blinged-out Gucci sunglasses showing too much gluttony?

It’s time to pull the car over.

Stop second guessing yourself.

Realistically review what when down.

The meeting? It really did go well. The follow-up email? It was professional, succinct and timely.

You even invited them to share how they’d like to proceed by a specific date.

There’s a fine line between assertiveness and smothering. You want them to bite, but on their own accord.

Just Move On.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to just refocus. On current clients, customer service, perfecting those sales skills.

In the end, it’s their loss. Don’t take it personally.

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This category of Smarty Pants Bride is starting to get really, really old.

Seriously, if you’ve already:

  1. Researched EVERY possible vendor, and received quotes…
  2. Created an air-tight timeline of your ceremony and reception…
  3. Mastered all the tricks of the trade…

Why are you even chatting with us? Clearly, you’ve got it all under control.

And we all know – EVERYTHING runs like clockwork at a wedding.

There’s never any timeline errors, snafus or bridal party melt-downs.

Just remember this…

We live in a REALITY BASED world, not the puffy cloud formation that you’ve created that cushions all of your Wedding Day plans.

Get Real.

If you want a professional, then TREAT us as such.

If you want to hire a step ‘n’ fetch – ask the catering or venue staff.

Our role is that little piece that Holds It All Together.

You know, the one that makes everything happen smoothly?

Bringing your vision to life doesn’t happen at the snap of your fingers.

Unless of course, you really do have a Fairy Godmother.

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Let’s set the scene…

We have 2 hours to transform one largish room into a ceremony area, for 160 guests, and set-up all the reception tables {hidden behind a floor to ceiling piece of drapery} with candelabras, flowers, favors, seat assignments, etc.

The clock is ticking.

We all know about crunch time. Some venues just don’t get it, and will provide minimal access time for vendors.

We’re pretty used to the 2 hour dash + decorate’ session.

We can successfully pull it off, with 15 minutes to spare before guests start to pour through the doors, as long as we’re ALL on board, with the same goal in mind.

That being a happy bride, a relaxed groom, a bridal party in waiting, and satisfied parents.

So, why have so many Venue Managers forgotten {or refused} to take the Sales Hat off when there’s already an event booked that day?

Now, we COMPLETELY understand wanting to sell your space, especially with everyone counting their pennies, and with growing competition out there.

But, guess what? Showing the space to couples, their extended family, and random people wandering in off the street WHILE the venue is booked is NOT COOL.

In fact, why are the bride + groom even paying for the space during that time if Joe + his fiancée Barbara can stroll through, ask as many questions as they see fit, and query the event planning staff about décor rentals, flower prices + cupcake flavors?  

The client has paid for the exclusivity and privacy the venue has promised them. Remember?

Oh, and by the way, they’re getting married in LESS THAN 2 HOURS!

So Venue Manager, read ’em + weep…

  • Get Some Tact
  • Do Your Job
  • Understand Current Client Priorities

Seriously, where the hell does your loyalty lie?

We can’t even blame the couples walking through, like deer in headlights, just soaking it all in. They don’t get the gravity of the situation before them. {But, they will on their own big day, and they’ll be pissed.}

This isn’t a bloody Open House.

It’s a beautiful couple’s Wedding Day, and they deserve your undivided attention.

If you don’t get that, then GET OUT. We have it more than covered.

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Do you often daydream about having an Open Letter to the Bride posted in your storefront window?

A form letter of sorts, to share expectations, protocol, tips and advice.

Here’s one such letter, written for Bridal Salon Owners everywhere.

Dear Bride to Be, 

We’re so excited to meet you!

This is such an amazing time in your life, and we understand all the worries, concerns, and insecurities that come with shopping for the dress.

Be ready to gush, cry, oooh and aaah over all the fabric choices, veils + accessories.

We do have one initial request of you + your bridal party.

Ditch the bad attitudes at the door.

Come with a smile on your face.

OK, two initial requests really.

This is not a Cinderella and Stepsister scenario. We’re not your maid, or cocktail waitress.

This is our livelihood, so please respect our staff, and the array of dresses to choose from.

We realize that you’re stressed, under the gun time-wise, may have some pressure in terms of price, and have other things to get ready for your big day.

Remember too, not every bride finds ‘ THE DRESS ’ on their first day of shopping.

So relax, enjoy the choices, and above all….. be kind.

Feel free to bring your closest friends, mom + confidantes.

But be advised, friends that will say YES to all of your whims, or those that are hypercritical, are not a wise choice. You need support, gently mixed with a shot of reality.

We have many other clients that will visit our bridal shop this season, and we treat each and every guest with the same level of respect, attention to detail and compassion.

We can only control our own attitudes, our inventory, and our staff.

Here’s a short list of items that we can’t control:

  • Your weight. We understand that you want to look perfect on your day, but we can’t get a size 20 into a sample dress. It’s just not going to happen.
  • Your appearance.  Want to have fun, and feel pretty?  Then put your best foot forward. Dress up, do your hair + make-up. Bring shoes if you have them, or something with a similar heel height.
  • Bad undies. Wear some great fitting undergarments. The closer you can get to the real fit, the happier and more confident you’ll feel.
  • Dress type fixation. Try not to dwell on a specific dress or designer before you start trying any on. You’ll be amazed, and extremely surprised to see what actually looks good on your body type.
  • Friends with ulterior motives. Bring those that are TRULY excited, and want the appointment to be all about you. Not someone who’s searching for their own dress, for the ‘ What If ’ wedding.

 

Above all, don’t forget your manners and self-respect on the day of the appointment.

We look forward to helping you find the dress of your dreams.

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Well, since you brought it up.

Yes. Yes, you are.

Those tantrums, unrealistic expectations, vent sessions seemed to be aimed at us – directly .

But what’s so interesting, is it’s no longer just a role exclusive to the Bride.

Some of the recent incarnations may be a bit surprising….

  • The Father of the Bride
  • The Mother-in-Law {who doesn’t understand boundaries, at all}
  • The Sister {who’s already married, and clearly knows how a wedding should go}
  • The BFF
  • And the personal favorite, The Onsite Venue Helper. She appears somewhat hung over, clearly disgruntled, and wants to make sure that her employer knows she’s miffed.  How will she get this message across?  By doing the least amount of work possible over the next 8 hours. Great.

So, if you can’t beat them – join them right? All kidding aside, walking on eggshells isn’t good for workmanship, morale or productivity. Letting people vent can be healthy for them, but they need to understand that they’re experiencing situational stress.

Talking about it BEFORE the wedding day is helpful.

You don’t need to walk around with a knife in your back.

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Guest #3

Here she comes……… Debbie Downer. Except that she’s morphed into a wedding guest that’s closely related to the bride.

It appears that NOTHING is going to be good enough at this celebration.

Just know that complaining isn’t a characteristic of this guest, but her personality in its entirety.

Her level of overall dissatisfaction changes to fit the situation.

In fact, she probably doesn’t approve of the bride’s choice of dress, food, venue, or time of reception. And she certainly can’t believe that the family would actually spend this much money on one night. What a waste!

This is also the guest that will view you as their personal assistant/gopher.

Get ready for, ‘Could you bring me another napkin?’, and ‘Can you touch up my wine?’, or the ever classy, ‘Could you get the Bride’s attention? I’m planning to leave soon.

Only one word comes to mind.  Bitch. Speechless.

So, how to remain the Strong Diplomat?

  • Listen intently, and attempt to resolve their issues.  But NEVER agree outright.
  • Try to let it roll off your back {yes, easier said than done}.
  • Keep your opinions under wraps. Always remember, this is ALSO the guest that will ‘Report Back’ to the bride & groom.

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