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Posts Tagged ‘guest behavior’

Let’s set the scene…………

Both sets of parents are bitterly divorced, and remarried. There are step-siblings, step-cousins and step-grandparents.

Let’s face it – you feel like you’ve stepped in something, and you want to lose it, fast!

The dynamic of a family can be its greatest strength, or biggest downfall.

For your personal sanity, try to put it in perspective. You’ll be around this dysfunctional clan for a maximum of 12 hours {fingers crossed}.

Best approach?

  • Kill them with kindness  
  • Keep really busy {who says the presents don’t need to be rearranged?}
  • Smile and nod, while biting your tongue {this is a learned skill}

Most important? Don’t work a wedding solo.

You’ll need to play ‘Tag, you’re it!’ with a team member. Getting some downtime to effectively deal with the onslaught of complaints, drunk guests and tireless questions about when the cake’s going to be cut is a must.

~Special Note to the Brides~

Please don’t throw us under the bus.

If you know your Dad is gruff as hell, and isn’t a ‘people person’, we’d appreciate a heads up.

Every family experiences emotional highs + lows during a wedding celebration.

We’re used to dealing with high stress situations, and can mitigate even the touchiest situation.

So, do yourself a favor. Don’t take their ‘complaints’ or ‘concerns’ as gospel.  

We always have your best interests at heart, and aren’t interested in stirring the pot.

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Guest #3

Here she comes……… Debbie Downer. Except that she’s morphed into a wedding guest that’s closely related to the bride.

It appears that NOTHING is going to be good enough at this celebration.

Just know that complaining isn’t a characteristic of this guest, but her personality in its entirety.

Her level of overall dissatisfaction changes to fit the situation.

In fact, she probably doesn’t approve of the bride’s choice of dress, food, venue, or time of reception. And she certainly can’t believe that the family would actually spend this much money on one night. What a waste!

This is also the guest that will view you as their personal assistant/gopher.

Get ready for, ‘Could you bring me another napkin?’, and ‘Can you touch up my wine?’, or the ever classy, ‘Could you get the Bride’s attention? I’m planning to leave soon.

Only one word comes to mind.  Bitch. Speechless.

So, how to remain the Strong Diplomat?

  • Listen intently, and attempt to resolve their issues.  But NEVER agree outright.
  • Try to let it roll off your back {yes, easier said than done}.
  • Keep your opinions under wraps. Always remember, this is ALSO the guest that will ‘Report Back’ to the bride & groom.

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You so know this wedding guest.

She comes across as slightly overzealous at first, but seemingly harmless.

Yet, just as you’re knee deep in tabletop mayhem, she will appear at your side, to provide unsolicited guidance + opinion on the layout, décor and overall feel of the wedding design.

Didn’t she tell you?

She Just Got Married.

You didn’t get the memo?   Just Married Girl = Expert Wedding Designer.

Prepare to hear interjections like, ‘Don’t you think she’d want more candles near the buffet?’, or ‘Do you think she really wants the flowers to look like that?’, and the ever popular, ‘I did it a bit differently at my wedding.’

Wow, thanks for sharing. And just FYI – – – this ISN’T your wedding. The bride has chosen décor, flowers, food & entertainment to reflect HER taste + aesthetic.

When did this wedding gig turn into Sorority Rush?

And get ready. Because the conversation is about to change abruptly….she’s been waiting with baited breath to share with you this stunning revelation.

I’ve been thinking about starting my own wedding planning/coordination business.  Are you ever looking for an assistant?  Can you give me any pointers?  You must keep so busy!  What a dream job!!

Yeah, it’s a blast.

In her mind, you’re constantly reading wedding magazines, fawning over fabric samples, and going to killer cocktail parties to schmooze with the elite.

Let’s get real. That all sounds grand and some of it may very well be true. But, we all know that running a wedding business is not for the faint of heart, or those obsessed with fluff.

Clients don’t fall out of thin air, and wedding production isn’t about looking pretty in your dress.

So, how to let her down easy?

  • Be kind. We’ve all been at the beginning stage. No reason to squash her dream.
  • Answer a few simple questions if you can. You never want to burn a bridge.
  • Keep your professional distance. Give her your business card, but let her contact you.

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Every wedding has similarities. Those we wish to forget, others we hope to avoid, and a few we try to fix.

This week, you’ll be reintroduced to 3 guest characters, who’ll rear their ugly heads sometime during the celebratory day.

Having a game plan will help reduce the headache{s}, and allow you to come out injury free.

Guest #1 :: The Drunk

This guy {typically} seems to wait until the meal is over, dancing has begun, and you are in the observer role, waiting in the wings for the next task to tackle. With alcohol-fuelled confidence, he approaches. At first, he’s very friendly and harmless  – and then it seems, the inevitable ‘being hit on’ situation takes shape. Awkward.

So, how do you deal with this? Especially when you’re…

a) painfully sober, b) trying to maintain a professional distance from the wedding guests, and c) happily married?

Here’s a few tried and true ideas:

  • Stick in pairs. Remember, three’s a crowd. This will allow you to end the conversation quickly.
  • Don’t engage him. Sure, you can smile. But don’t keep answering questions, and encouraging banter.
  • Make up an emergency. That’s right – you’ve been granted permission to lie. ‘Cause getting away from this guy IS an emergency.

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