Posts Tagged ‘professional courtesy’

Could this not be the most defeating scenario of them all?

You’re duly prepared for the initial meeting, conversation flows, details are discussed, there’s a meeting of the minds. It’s like you’ve been friends forever.

And then, NADA.

Naturally, you start to question everything. 

Your growing neurosis is now in the driver’s seat.

Did I push too much? Not enough? Was my conversation professional, or just plain diarrhea of the mouth?

Did the follow-up email seem needy or desperate after the initial meeting?

Was wearing those new blinged-out Gucci sunglasses showing too much gluttony?

It’s time to pull the car over.

Stop second guessing yourself.

Realistically review what when down.

The meeting? It really did go well. The follow-up email? It was professional, succinct and timely.

You even invited them to share how they’d like to proceed by a specific date.

There’s a fine line between assertiveness and smothering. You want them to bite, but on their own accord.

Just Move On.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to just refocus. On current clients, customer service, perfecting those sales skills.

In the end, it’s their loss. Don’t take it personally.


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Lesson #2 from the Wedding Industry Trenches

Careful what you pay for.

What do you do when your client’s contract isn’t fulfilled by another vendor, the day of the wedding?

This puts you in a difficult position, makes you feel like a bit of a tattle tale, but your loyalty lies with your client.

Here’s a personal Vendor story, from a Coordinator in Seclusion:

Even with all her preparedness, she had no idea what was really in store for her.

‘My client, a brilliant & detailed couple, had paid many extra fees at their chosen venue .

It’s a highly regarded, and sought after space, due to its ‘blank canvas’ appeal. I was very excited to work at the space, given I’d only heard fabulous things – and seen gorgeous pictures of past weddings.

Here’s how the Wedding Day went down…

What transpired upon my arrival was stunning. To say the least.

I arrived promptly @ 2pm, to help the event assistant my client had paid additional $ for. Her décor was rather intricate {hanging 30 paper lanterns, large soft seating lounge area, personalized linens, signature photo area}.

She’d also paid for the use of a digital camera, projection system, sound system, etc.

The entire layout had been planned by her + the staff, and she’d asked me to provide supervision for the larger décor jobs. She wanted to make sure the layout was done to spec.

Upon my arrival, I was confronted by a Venue Manager who stated that the Event Assistant would only be available for 1 hour, and that putting all the hanging lanterns together in clusters, tying them with fishing line, and taking them down at the end of the evening {from a 20 foot ceiling}, would be my responsibility.

She stated that the Bride + Groom hadn’t paid for that.  

Wow. Talk about shock. I’ve planned & coordinated over 25 weddings, at all different kinds of venues, and never have I been so shabbily treated.

It was however, perfect preparation for the rest of the evening.

The venue provided my client with 2 Part Time staff for the evening, who were continually overwhelmed with all of the technical aspects of the evening {though this venue BOASTS about its capabilities}.

They were unable to get the slide showing going at the appropriate time, the digital camera projection screen didn’t function the entire evening, and the sound system went in & out several times.

In fact, the venue staff were out of sight for most of the evening, tucking themselves away in the kitchen eating whatever they could {including cupcakes not yet on display}, and even drinking a beer.

I was completely flabbergasted. I’ve never seen behavior like this before.

 All the last minute details of the wedding were completed just in the nick of time, mostly due to the quick & swift action of the caterer, who assisted with multiple aspects of décor…. no questions asked.

I mean, we’re all working this event to make the client’s wedding day special, right?

The icing on the cake?

The venue staff insisted I ‘sign off’ on the final checklist of services provided for the bride + groom.  I reviewed it with a fine tooth comb, and found that they had charged for multiple technical items, décor assistance, and additional staff – none of which were provided. I asked for a full copy of the ‘checklist contract’, and signed with a notation that an updated addendum would follow.

I forwarded a copy of the checklist to my clients a week after their wedding. They were able to resolve all of the issues with the venue, after requesting an in–house meeting with a manager.  

My due diligence resulted in a lovely, unexpected tip in the mail. Now that felt great!’

Lesson Learned

  • Even contracts can’t completely protect you on the day of the wedding. Be prepared for whatever can be thrown at you, or scenario that could go wrong. 
  • Assume that the outside help provided will be of little to no assistance. This will give you a greater sense of control from the beginning.
  • Make sure you & your client have ALL the facts straight about the contracts they have signed.
  • Be an advocate for the client, and a team player with the other vendors. It’s your client’s wedding day, not a trial run.
  • Report back to your client about the issues unresolved, and have them review their contract. Just do it AFTER their wedding!!

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Wow – when did this job become so ugly?

A coordinator really is an integral part of a seamless wedding day.

But as of late, it’s somehow morfed into a  ‘Do whatever I ask, NOW!’  kind of position.

Please note: No amount of money or future referral potential will allow us to degrade ourselves.

So no,  we won’t be replacing the toilet paper roll, cleaning up vomit, or helping your nephew into his monkey suit.

Those jobs are what family is all about.

We’re Professionals…not Chambermaids.

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Ring a bell?

We spend hours prepping for the initial appointment, chatting with you about the endless details of your upcoming wedding, and practicing professional follow-up to answer any questions or concerns you may have.

We lay it all out there, and make ourselves more than available.

So – what’s the deal with no email or phone call?  

Could you maybe find time in YOUR busy schedule, to let us know you booked someone else?

Don’t worry, our feelings won’t be hurt. We have thick skin.

We also have something that will hopefully will rub off on you.  


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